


God Can't Help You Now

by ButterflyMama78



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Jim is a Little Shit, Mentions of naughty pictures, Some kissing, some cussing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:34:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyMama78/pseuds/ButterflyMama78
Summary: Elle Kirk notices a memo the ensign in her lab receives... featuring a photo of Leonard she had taken.  Upon reading the memo she confronts her brother... then tells Leonard.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/OFC
Kudos: 14





	God Can't Help You Now

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot was inspired by a photo manip floating around Tumblr. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this little piece as a one-shot to accompany the story I have in the works for Leonard and my OFC Elle.

Eleanor’s eyes widened when she saw the message flash onto Ensign McAllister’s PADD. “Who sent that to you?”

The young man jerked and nearly dropped the device as he whipped around to stare at Elle. “The captain, ma’am.”

Elle reached out and took the PADD from him, shaking her head. The manipulated photo was of Leonard, taken on the bridge a few weeks back when the CMO had snarled at Jim’s enthusiasm for their five-year mission. A photo she had taken because the expression on his face was priceless.

How Jim had gotten ahold of it was beyond her. 

God can’t help you now had been added to the image. The message accompanying the photo was short, to the point, and if she weren’t so upset with her brother for this little stunt she would have snorted.

“It has come to my attention that you have missed a medical evaluation with Dr. McCoy and/or his medical staff despite pre-programmed reminders on both your PADD and your communicator. Please report to the MedBay in a timely manner before our Chief Medical Officer sees fit to track you down. Thank you. –Captain James T. Kirk.”

She handed the PADD back to the ensign. “Thomas, would you mind forwarding that message to me?”

“Wh-why?” McAllister stuttered before flinching. “I’m not being insubordinate, I promise!”

She fought to not roll her eyes. The ensign was a complete idiot, and she wanted him out of her labs. “I know, Thomas,” she sighed. She stopped herself before she could reach up to pinch the bridge of her nose, something so Leonard-like it scared her. “How Captain Kirk got his hands on that photo, and why he decided to use a photo of Dr. McCoy is beyond me…” She looked up to meet the ensign’s scared brown eyes. “We’re two weeks into the mission, it’s been hectic getting the labs set up and ready for the first exploratory excursion. Our chief medical officer is more understanding than our captain claims.”

“Doctor Kirk…” McAllister started to say something but trailed off slowly. Then his eyes widened. “Are-are you related to the captain?”

This time she snorted. “Yeah,” she nodded. “Captain Kirk is my twin brother.” She pointed to the PADD. “I took that photograph of Dr. McCoy when we warped off at the beginning of the mission. He’s my boyfriend.” She smiled when the ensign let out a strangled I’m so fucked. “Forward that message to me, please.”

McAllister nearly dropped his PADD as he scrambled to do as he was told. 

Once her PADD pinged with a notification she excused herself and headed to the Turbolift down the corridor. “Bridge,” she instructed the computer. Seconds later she requested permission to enter the bridge, her eyes locked on her brother.

“Permission granted,” he turned to smile at her. 

Movement to his right drew her attention.

Elle froze. Fuck me, she internally cringed but managed a smile for Leonard. “Captain, may I request a moment with you? Alone?” Her smile turned apologetic for the doctor, who nodded. She flicked her eyes back to Jim just in time to catch him masking the slight panic in his eyes. 

Jim nodded. “Mr. Sulu, you have the con,” he stated before motioning for his sister to head to the ready room.

Once inside with the door shut behind them, Eleanor pulled up the message on her PADD. She held it out to Jim. “How the hell did you get this picture?”

“I borrowed your PADD, remember?” He grinned. “Looked through the pictures and found this, thankfully before I found the vacation pictures you guys took. Really, Sis?”

Her eyes widened when she realized what he was talking about. “You went through my personal PADD?” She screeched. “You looked through my personal photos?”

“Never making that mistake again,” he groaned. “Seriously, Ellie? I’ve seen Bones naked more times than I care to remember, but my own sister?”

“What Leonard and I do in our private time is just that, Jimmy,” she growled at him. “It’s not like you haven’t done it yourself.” She leveled a look on him despite the hot blush consuming her. She couldn’t believe he’d looked through the risqué boudoir photos she and Leonard had done when they had gone to the mountains in Georgia for a romantic getaway before they had to report back to Starfleet. “Why the hell did you send out that photo to Ensign McAllister?”

“Bones was bitching about how several crew members missed their intake evaluations,” he sighed heavily. “Figured I’d have a little fun with sending out a warning.”

“Yeah, and McAllister damn near cried when he finally realized his supervisor is related to the ship’s captain. He damn near wet himself when I told him the chief medical officer is my boyfriend.” Elle huffed out a heavy sigh. “I need to talk with Spock about having him transferred to another department, he’s not cut out for my labs.”

Jim snorted. “He really nearly pissed himself?”

“Yeah, and you’re going to die once I show this to Leonard,” she held up her PADD.

“Oh, no you don’t,” he lunged forward but she sidestepped.

“What makes you think I’m going to let you get your hands on my PADD again, Jimmy? There’s more naughty pictures on here.” 

He recoiled. “I don’t want to see any more photos of Bones with his hands covering your… your boobs,” he whined. 

“His hands covered more than just my boobs,” she smiled before heading toward the door. Damn but she really missed that cabin in the mountains.

“NO!”

“Computer, please page Dr. McCoy to the ready room,” she called out. 

The door slid open immediately. “What the hell is going on?” Leonard demanded as he strode into the room. “I heard screeching and yelling!”

“He went through the pictures a couple of weeks back,” she braced herself for Leonard’s reaction.

“That explains the damned death glares,” the doctor grumbled. “Is that why you dragged him in here?”

She shook her head. “No, but this is,” she held her PADD out to Leonard.

“Ellie, no!” Jim cried, but slumped when he realized he was well and truly fucked.

“What the hell is this?!?!?!” Leonard exploded, anger darkening his hazel eyes as he glared at the captain. “Dammit, Jim!”

“I thought it would be good motivation to get people to the MedBay!” The captain defended himself, warily eyeing the vein throbbing in Bones’ temple. “I mean, it’s true!”

“For you, yes, for them?” Leonard snorted. “I can’t have the new crew thinking I’m a tyrant, Kid!”

“I could always leak some of those… photos,” Jim shuddered and shrank back when Leonard took a menacing step forward.

Elle bodily blocked Leonard. “You’ll do no such thing, Jimmy,” she warned her brother. “Because do you really want for everyone on this ship to see your baby sister naked?”

“No! Eww, God no!” He made a gagging sound and yelped when Leonard growled and tried to move around Eleanor.

“Oh, no, you don’t, Leonard,” she braced her hands on his chest and pushed him back. “Come with me.” 

Surprisingly McCoy allowed her to push him toward the door. Once they stepped back onto the bridge she turned him toward the Turbolift.

“You just gonna let him insult you like that, Eleanor?” Leonard demanded once they were in the lift and on their way to the deck their quarters were located on.

“He wasn’t insulting me, Leonard, he was repulsed at the thought of me naked,” she touched her left hand to his chest. “And terrified at the thought of every crew member getting an eyeful. Or terrified at the thought of the murder spree you would go on if anyone else saw me naked.”

The growl that vibrated through his chest and reverberated through the Turbolift was primal. “Don’t want anyone else gettin’ the pleasure of seein’ what only I have the pleasure of seeing, Sugar,” he moved suddenly, pinning her to the back wall of the lift and kissing her soundly.

She gasped and pushed on his shoulders when he stooped to pick her up. “Oh, no, Leonard,” she whimpered when he nipped at her neck. “Cam-“ her protest was swallowed in another kiss before Leonard reluctantly set her back on her feet.

McCoy glared over his shoulder at the camera she tried to point out to him. “Damn nosy bastards.”


End file.
